What are you hiding from? & what is the truth?

What does your dragon look like? Is he big and fiercee and scary and come in the form of rejection? or maybe he looks more like failure? And what is your dragon protecting? your vulnerability, your fragility, your heart?

This quote metaphorically represents so many of us, who have spent our whole lives letting our fear dragons stop us from sharing our treasure with the world.

All my life I have held onto many fears, most of which have been masking as other things or lurking just on the edge of consciousness so that I haven't always been able to recognise them immediately.

Some have been a very real and present danger, creating a tangible, physiological response that I have gradually grown to manage.
In my early adult years, I used to experience panic attacks. At the time, I didn't intellectually recognise this and I believed that I was in the midst of some kind of medical emergency. For anyone who has experienced a full blown panic attack, you will understand what I mean when I say it is terrifying. For me there didn't seem to be a trigger initially, although something tells me now with my years of experience and wisdom that it was triggered through the feeling of insecurity and vulnerability. I was a new grad nurse at the time and I was working in a very remote part of Western Australia. Part of my posting meant that I had to be separated from my husband and take up residence at a nurses quarters which was very lonely and isolated. It was the first time in my life that I felt truly alone and being so far from home added to the vulnerability. There was nothing scary about where I was or the job I was doing, in fact as far as nursing goes it was very straight forward work. It was just a generalised realisation that I was without my security blanket (my husband) and I was operating well outside my usual comfort zone (I must add I am a Cancerian and this means that home and a nest is vitally important for my survival)
I remember at the time of my first panic attack, I honestly believed I must have been having a heart attack and I was very close to presenting to the hospital I worked at, to get some help, but something stopped me. Fear, I was obviously experiencing extreme fear in that moment but the fear of being ridiculed and judged for my breakdown by others who were my colleagues was a far greater fear at that point. Stupid? Yep I know. But it brings me to my point. My fears throughout my life have come packaged in all the usual ways, fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of rejection in fact I am a prime example of the 3 universal fears that all human being experience.
Anyway back to the story, after somehow getting through the initial panic attack which mind you lasted all night (so yes no sleep) and then although the feeling of imminent death past, I was left in a state of anxiety that kept me in the fight or flight mode for the next few months. I wish I could say things got better from there but unfortunately things got worse before they got better. My lowest point was some months later when in desperation I approached my GP (in a inconsolable state) and begged for some valium or some kind of sedative to calm my ever increasing nerves as I was finding by this point that my quality of life was being severely impacted. I couldn't sleep, I could only barely function at work, I was so afraid of everything, that I was even starting to become afraid of the fear, if that makes sense. Or maybe it was that I was afraid that I couldn't control the fear and that I might explode into flames and that would be very embarrassing for others to have to witness.
For me hiding the shame of the suffering and the condition was of upmost importance, I didn't want anyone to know I couldn't cope, it would be a sign of weakness, vulnerability, my humanness even, god forbid!! I can laugh now, but that's only because its now 10 years later and I have come so far in regards to how I perceive myself and my fears now. I'm not saying I'm 10 foot tall and bullet proof but I have come to recognise now my anxiety symptoms and with some cognitive behavioural therapy (help from psychologist) I was able to learn strategies around minimalizing the frequency of the attacks and ways to handle the effects of anxiety. I have also come to recognise sleep deprivation as a major trigger and even hormones occasionally play a role (although I don't like to use excuses) I work very hard on taking responsibility for my own thoughts which are the major components of the emotions and feelings that our bodies produce. It all comes down to thoughts. Like our physical bodies if we feed them with crap food we will have crap health and things will breakdown but if we love and nurture our bodies then we get positive feedback from it by way of energy and vitality and good health. Our emotions are the same, we let our ego,the little voice (or like me voices as there are around 18 at any one time!) in your head take over and tell you dishonest truths about yourself eg I'm not any good, I'm weak, I'm fat, I'm dumb, I'm insignificant then before long you will start holding on to this as a belief and your emotions and physical state will reflect the shit mental food you are feeding it. I know its not always easy, believe me I have had years to set up these negative mental patterns and its not like things can just change overnight because you say they should. Would you go to the gym for one session and expect to be fit? Don't think so! You have to remain committed to the cause, you have to become aware first and foremost about what you are focusing on, start listening to those voices and then when you hear them come up, use a visual cue or even try talking to them (not out loud of course unless you want an escorted ride to the closest psychiatric ward) Say thankyou to the voices, say thankyou but you are no longer required here and then replace with a new more empowering thought. Even if you don't believe it at first, keep doing it, your subconscious will begin to accept it as true if you flex your mental muscles for long enough. Or if your a visual person like me, I used to imagine a stop sign, like the ones you see when your out driving. I would see the stop sign in my mind and this would be my mental cue to move the unhelpful information out of my head and I was able to move forward and create better feeling thoughts. Another cue I learnt was to imagine the thoughts as a clown, yes the kind of clown you see at the circus (don't do this if you are afraid of clowns!) and make the clown friendly (not like the IT kind of clown) imagine the clown with its big floppy shoes and funny red nose, suspenders and blue curly hair (or however a clown looks like to you) and then imagine that the clown is your negative words, Whenever you have a negative thought, see the clown, thank him for coming and let him know that he is no longer required, even visualise him walking away, sulking cause you don't want to play.
Linking your thoughts and awareness to visual cues like this is very effective. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose.
So my story has a happy ending. I can honestly say that my panic attacks have all but disappeared. The last one was around 3 years ago and again it was trigger through lack of sleep (shift work, I have to avoid it at all costs) I managed my way through that and I have been completely free from the grip of crippling anxiety ever since. Also I didn't get that script for valium from the Dr, he wouldn't give it too me! He insisted I got some professional help first, so that's what I did, I have a lot to thank that Dr for, although at the time, I wanted to strangle him. There are still days when fear does raise its ugly head, but usually only when I am stretching myself or challenging myself to do something new or something I perceive as scary. This kind of fear is good fear, it means I am growing. You cannot grow if you don't expand your comfort zone. Fear is inevitable, it will come whether you like it or not, it means your alive and you are moving forwards, so isn't that a good thing? I urge you, if you were like me and experiencing severe anxiety, get some help. Seeing a professional psychologist really does help, you don't have to go through it alone because believe me its far more common that you probably think. So hopefully this might help someone who has a similar story, there really is a brighter day coming, just hang in there and reach out.

What does your ideal day look like?

What's your idea of an ideal day? Probably something that you may not have given a lot of thought too, or maybe you spend all day dreaming about what this would look like. When I say ideal day, I mean average ideal day, not the kind where you are a billionaire with people running around at your beacon call (although that might be nice) we need to keep it real here, although there's no harm in a little daydreaming every now and then. I am talking about the kind of day that you might experience that would be within the realm of possibilities and the kind that if you could have everyday would make you feel pretty satisfied with life.
The reason I ask this is because I had to complete this task myself today as part of my assessment for my life coaching course. It was a bit of a moment of realisation for me, when I started putting pen to paper, I realised that I am actually living my ideal life. Wow! What an awesome revelation!.
My ideal day went something like this..... A day where I can give to and serve others, where I can receive love, intimacy and connection on a deep physical, emotional and spiritual level. The kind of day where I am able to invest in my creative side, potter in my garden, cook up a storm in my kitchen, learn something new, read a book with my children, share a coffee on my balcony with my husband before getting him off to work, walk on the beach, move and nourish my body.
Of course my day often involves washing clothes, making beds and all the other mundane tasks that we do as responsible adults running a household but even then I find a deep sense of satisfaction knowing those task have been completed and there is some order in the house again.
So once again I ask you, what does your ideal day look like? If your ideal day and your reality don't align, are you able to identify the gaps and what you would need to do in order to bridge the gaps? Is it money, is it expectation, responsibility, lack of motivation or enthusiasm, is it circumstance? Did you know that all of these obstacles can be overcome? Did you realise that the reason your not living your ideal day right now is by your own choice? Ok, ok I can hear you screaming at me right now! I get it, you have your reasons, or excuses! you are a victim right? Wrong. We are all responsible for our choices and while we don't choose to have bad things happen to us, that rob us of the chance to live our ideal day, we do get the choice about how we respond to the circumstances. We can choose to be miserable in a lousy job, or we can find a better job and start fresh, we can chose to be defeated by illness and injury or we can choose to learn and grow from the experience and channel our energy into making something positive and meaningful out of the experience. We can blame all manner of things on our unhappiness but the truth is, if you dwell in it, its your choice.
I know as well as anyone how hard it can be to change your circumstances when you feel stuck and trapped by life. But sometimes we just have to say yes to life and the rest will work itself out. Have some faith that no matter what life throws at you, you are able to handle it and you are the master of your own destiny. Don't be a victim, be victorious, be your own hero.
I think I have said it before but a very wise person said to me once something that I often refer to when I don't know whether to take action about something or not " if nothing changes, what can you expect the future to look like"? Its very powerful, because if you were like me living a life with little to no sense of satisfaction, being driven by the need to make money, going through the motions, playing the game, giving away your power then you would also be like me and decide that you deserve a better future and a chance to make it count.
Decide what your ideal day looks like and start taking steps today (even baby ones) towards making it happen. If its change in career direction, explore careers that your interested in, check out education opportunities, read, learn as much as you can and don't forget its never to late to reinvent yourself, commitment to ongoing self improvement, is a lifelong challenge and something that everyone should be striving towards. If you want less chaos at home, start working on ways to create a calm and peaceful environment, explore with the others you live with ways that you can all contribute to making things run more smoothly, you don't need to be a martyr, if you have kids chances are they would love to get involved in constructing a jobs chart and even more the rewards that come from completing all the weekly tasks without being nagged. This also teaches responsibility which is a quality I think that's being lost with this generation.
Turn off the TV and download some calming music, something instrumental (guided meditation music before bed is awesome too for a great night sleep, that means no devices before bed) burn some pleasurable scents in the house, I use my essential oil diffuser often and choose calming blends like lavender, peppermint and bergamot.
If your ideal day includes time for exercise (if your one of those people like the rush of endorphins you get from exercise) but you keep finding reasons why you cant fit it in, then set your alarm clock for an hour earlier than normal and get up and get moving! I start my day at 5am everyday, sounds intense I know but I make sure I get to bed by 9.30pm and I make a commitment to myself to be up and at it before the birds. Its the best part of the day, trust me I know it doesn't sound like most peoples idea of a good time, but once you get into a habit it becomes a lot easier. In the beginning I used to dread the alarm going off but now I find most days I beat it and I wake up feeling fresh and looking forward to hitting the gym or getting some private time on the beach before anyone else surfaces. There is something special about being up before the sun and you can get so much more done in a day. I started this routine initially because my kids were on school holidays and I couldn't get to the gym at my normal 9am slot, however I loved getting up early so much that after they went back to school I continue to keep up my 5am appointment. I mean really unless you have insomnia or some other reason why you cant get your 7 hours recommended sleep then there is no reason why you cant get up early.
So you are getting my point, if you find your ideal day is more like a far off fantasy then start taking action towards making your ideal, your reality. It can be done, just dare to dream and explore what it would take for you to be living your ideal day everyday.

Giving freely.... the greatest wealth of the soul

This is one of my favourite quotes.
Being generous is an attribute that I value highly in myself and others. I'm not just talking from a monetary perspective but I mean generous with time, thought and deed.
How much do you give of yourself to others? Maybe the answer is that you give of yourself too much, if you are a parent, you never stop giving of yourself to your children especially when they are young. If you are a woman in particular then no doubt you feel like you rarely get any opportunity for selfishness.
I know for me sometimes, I become so consumed by my circumstances, routine, rituals, thoughts and old patterns that I forget to be generous and considerate towards the people I love and the world at large. I can literally forget about someones birthday, or that a friend that has been sick or suffering or pick up the phone and say hi to my elderly grandmother.
It can be very difficult sometimes when you get stuck in your own agenda to remember that the moments that count come from how much you can give of yourself freely without the need for recognition or acknowledgment. Just knowing that your present and engaged in the life of someone else can mean so much.
Volunteering is one way that I get myself back on course again when I feel like I need to start living more lightly again. I volunteer regularly for an organisation called Look Good Feel Better, its a program offered to women who have been through cancer treatment and it allows them to come into the community centre for the day and get a pamper session. Often these women feel defeated and hopeless after treatment has left them with a physical reminder of their cancer and their immortality. They are given a tutorial on how to apply makeup (and supplied with all the products they could need, to take home) and then we offer them the opportunity to try on various wigs in different colours and lengths to help them feel a little more feminine again. Its lots of fun to see the women light up at the end of the session after really get involved in the process.
The first time I went along as a volunteer, it was very confronting for me, to see other women my age with young children to look after going through what must be described as your worst nightmare. I wasn't sure if emotionally I could handle it, I mean I wasn't going to be a great help if I was breaking down in tears every time I showed up. But as the time went on I found I developed a great respect for these women who weren't getting bogged down in their stories, they were strong, determined women who were not going to let cancer stop them from living their lives in the most meaningful ways.
Another way I like to express generosity is through sponsorship of my 2 compassion children from Uganda. My eldest sponsor child has been sponsored by our family for the past 11 years. We have had the privilege of being able to watch him grow from a wispy little 8 year old into a young man, who is out making a living and providing for his family. Last year we took on another child, a 5 year old girl. We receive letters from them regularly and my kids write to them about their lives in Australia.
It doesn't cost a lot to sponsor a child however there have been times when I have had to consider if we could keep up the financial responsibility due pressures and financial hardship of our own. However I believe that as long as I can afford to go to my local café and purchase my regular large almond milk cappuccino that I can afford to give someone else an opportunity for a better life. We have so much compared to some people living on this earth. We have so much money, wealth, materialism and opportunity. We complain, but what the fuck have we got to complain about. Really, seriously. There are no excuses, we are just greedy, we all are. What would we know about poverty, about going without. We have everything we want at the flick of a switch, touch of a button and when that's no enough we find ways to do things better, faster and easier. We are the ultimate consumers and still we see people living on the streets, communities of people with no clean water, no food, no access to healthcare or any of the comforts that we take for granted.
I am very passionate this as I am sure you can tell! so I try to live my life with an attitude of gratitude. I am thankful everyday for the blessings that I have been given. For the life I have been fortunate enough to have and I take opportunities to give freely when I am able.
I encourage you to look around and take notice of the people you see that could benefit from your kindness. It might be stopping to help someone with their heavy shopping trolley, offering to mow your neighbours lawn while you are doing yours, make an extra meal for someone you know that's doing it tough and give them a night off cooking.
If you need more inspiration, have a look at my brand new facebook page with the same title tell-it-like-ange and see my link to the "wake up project" which is the brainchild of Jono fisher. His free kindness cards are a brilliant way for you to give anonymously and have some fun with it.
I used one of my cards last year to leave money at my local hairdresser so that someone special could get their hairdressing services free of charge. The owners of the salon, told me later that the lady they chose to gift it too burst into tears. It was very humbling. I encourage you to give it a go and get creative.
Giving to others can take courage because we instinctively want to protect our own needs and security but believe me, if you can give freely without hesitation or personal gain you will find that you will be the one that receives the greatest gift of all. The gift of knowing that you have changed someone's life even in the smallest way.

fearless living

I have always hated running. I was never a good runner as a child, I was always in last place at the athletics carnival and at the cross country carnivals the other kids would pretty much lap me to the finish line, if I competed at all, usually I could con mum into writing me a note with some excuse as to why I couldn't participate. I had short legs (and still do) and not a lot of endurance or stamina. Needless to say nothing much changed as I ventured into adulthood, apart from one short period of time when I prepared and successfully completed the Sydney City to Surf with a group of friends who ran in memory of Gaby Hutchins, my girlfriends still born daughter. That was enough motivation to carry me across the line in 90 minutes which I was pretty proud of. Since then I have pretty much avoided any form of running.
Exercise however I love, just as long as it doesn't involve any short of running. Give me a circuit class, weights, spin or even burpees but please don't make me run! I love the rush of endorphins I get from being physically active, its time I can spend just for me, when I can go within myself and feel the burn and the personal challenge and I love the knowledge that I am doing something positive for my body and my health.
I am in awe of people that can run, I have a girlfriend who just gets out of bed and runs 17 km most mornings, She has completed multiple half marathons and triathlons and just seems to do it so effortlessly. It sounds like torture to me, like dying a slow and painful death.
Well at least that's what I tell myself. In fact it is long held belief of mine that I am not a good runner. Only recently I have started to challenge that belief because I am learning that in order to overcome any fear in life the best thing you can do is face the fear head on.
So I am going to sign up to the city to surf again this year and I am going to run the 12km to Bondi and I am going to do it without stopping and I am going to do it fearlessly.
I am setting this goal which will be completed in August, but I am also going to set smaller goals to break up the 12km and start practicing km by km, month by month.
Just saying that makes my stomach go weak and instantly I hear the voices of doubt in my head starting to rise, but I am going to commit to this and put my fear to rest.
Is there something you have always hated? Something you know if you could conquer would be good for you to accomplish, if you were fearless enough to go for it?
A wise person said to me once " if you knew that you couldn't fail, what could you do"? powerful isn't it, Just imagine for a moment, if fear was not even an issue what could you achieve? What are the outcomes you could produce? What would stop you? probably a big fat nothing! There would be nothing stopping you from achieving extraordinary.
What scares you? public speaking, asserting yourself, making decisions, changing jobs, saying no. The truth is that fear will never go away, its not meant to, its there for a good reason. Growth.
If we don't go through fear, anxiety and challenge then we don't grow and what would the point of life be if we didn't grow? Its a the very core of what makes us tick, we need life to throw us curve balls that way we get pushed out of our comfort zones and into the realm of new possibilities, new opportunities and pure enlightenment.
I'm not saying for a minute that you going to suddenly do the thing you have been fearing and expect that all the fear will disappear, you have to build your muscle around it. You have to keep practicing, keep turning up,  if you can find the courage to stand in the uncertainty of your fear and do it anyway you will start to build confidence and find that over time what was once uncomfortable starts to become a little more comfortable.
So off my soap box now, I am heading for the shower. I just got back from the gym, completing a 5km run on the treadmill! No it wasn't easy, I had to break it up into chunks, first chunks of distance and then I chunked it down into time slots of 2 minutes. Mentally I knew if I could just push through for another 2 minutes I would be that much closer to my goal of 5km, then another 2 and another 2 until I finished in 29:48, not too bad for my first attempt!

What are you avoiding?

This statement was a bit of a revelation to me when I first read about the theory in "Awaken the giant within" by Tony Robbins but it makes total sense when you really think about it. All human behaviour can be explained by using this concept, we all move towards things that we perceive as pleasurable and away from those things that we see as painful experiences, and we will do far more to move away from pain than we will to gain pleasure.

Recently I gave up my private health practice to concentrate on making some serious life changes but for the past 10 years I have been working with people who live with the increasingly common chronic condition called Type 2 Diabetes. Over the years I have seen thousands of patients who have been referred to me for one reason or another, however the common thread with each and every case was that the person presenting was experiencing a health problem that they had either been responsible for causing or were not taking responsibility for managing. I know that sounds a bit harsh but believe me when I say I am an expert in the area and it was rare for me to see someone who had only developed the disease due to their non modifiable risk factors. The majority of the patients were over their healthy weight and living a lifestyle that had caused and had significantly contributed to the deterioration of their disease. Many of these patient were coming at the end stages with severe complications, taking bucket loads of insulin via injection therapy and having to prick their finger to test their blood sugar level up to 6 times per day. Now if that's no enough to make you put down the doughnut and head straight to the gym I don't know what will. However on the contrary to that exact advice, the majority of patients I was seeing were not participating in any physical activity, were not eating healthy diets and were full of excuses as too why they could not get out of their own way!

I might sound cynical and arrogant and not very compassionate, however after many years of the same story I have become a bit of hard arse about it. That's not to say I'm any angel but that's my point exactly, if I can hold all the nutritional knowledge available, understand the role of exercise, have studied inside and out the pathophysiology of the human body and how diabetes occurs, I know the risks but I still don't live life like I expect my patients to. So why do we do what we do? or more accurately why don't we do what we know we should do in order to live the most healthiest lives possible? Why are we not concerned with taking care of our health and taking responsibility ultimately for our own lives and our own choices? Because believe me when I say that if we wanted things to be different they would, we all do what we do to gain something either as a primary gain or secondary gain. We get something out of either not doing or doing the things we do, in most cases this will be to gain pleasure or to avoid painful experience. So over the years I tried to do my job to the best of my ability however I suffered with the sense of feeling very helpless in being able to motivate people and move them to take action, to make sustainable lifelong changes that could not only save them from amputation but save their lives. I always felt like I was banging my head up against the brick wall. No amount of information or education seemed to make any long term difference. Some people would make small changes in the short term but 9 times out of 10 at the 6 month review they were back to where they started from or failed to get off the starting blocks in the first place. Many people would never return for their follow up appointments because they felt to embarrassed, ashamed, afraid or simply had their heads too far buried in the sand of denial and avoidance to want to face up to the fact that they were unsuccessful at implementing any change. I tried so many different approaches, the direct approach, the soft approach, the goal setting approach, the counselling approach but every attempt I made just seemed to have minimal impact. Sure I built lots of rapport and gained some lovely professional relationships with some of my patients. Many of who I became very fond of over the years, however as far as success stories go, maybe a handful that actually ever took their diagnosis seriously and turned their lives around permanently.

In this context its quite easy to apply Tony Robbins theory, my patients all perceived that changing their lives in the radical way that was required was far to painful an experience than the pleasure they would gain from being a healthier version of themselves. The steps required for change would mean giving up certain things (high sugar, high fat foods) and eating a wholesome, well balanced diet and lowering carbohydrate intake (bread, pasta, rice, fruit etc) for some reducing alcohol intake, eliminating soft drinks and fruit juices, eating smaller portions and actually moving, yes doing some exercise. Not just an occasional walk around the block actually getting their heart rates up and moving everyday in some way that would produce a positive physiological response. Sounds too hard? obviously for most people yes. Of course I am generalising a bit here, not everyone falls into this category, some people get the diagnosis of diabetes or pre diabetes and they spring into action, as Tony Robbins says, they can reach their emotional threshold or stack the pain to the point where they cannot and will not endure another day or another moment with the threat of ill health. They decide that they will not continue to experience the pain any longer. So how do we move ourselves if we need to make change from procrastination to action and how do we then continue to steer our lives in a way that will sustain the changes forever? There is a complex network of factors in play here which could be better explained by the authors of my psychology text book however what I am learning now in my life coaching course is that we can learn to change our behaviours using our own internal drivers and by changing our beliefs. Yes its that simple, we can all decide that we will no longer tolerate the situation for another moment and start to build and recognise the leverage (reasons why things cannot stay the same) and use this leverage to propel us towards our goals. I plan to touch on this further in future blog posts, as its obviously a massive topic that needs to be chunked down into bite sized pieces however I will say that I am putting myself up as a guinea pig to see if I can actually use these techniques to change my current health and reduce my waist line. I have been carrying an extra 8-10kg for around 4-5 years now and for my future health I will be getting rid of this excess this year well more precisely my goal is to be rid of it by May. Ambitious, yes it is but am I determined? you bet. I will outline my plan of attack in my next blog post and give you updates. The most important part of this process for me is building leverage around the health factor, me being overweight is putting me at risk of developing chronic health problems, its not about vanity or wanting to fit in to societies expectations, believe me I am wise enough now to know that using appearance as leverage will never work long term. Sure I am looking forward to fitting into my clothes again but its more important to me to feel good and avoid developing cancer and diabetes. Its also important for my kids to see me as a healthy example and a positive role model. So if you recognise some of these pattern of procrastination in an area of your life you know needs to change, come of the journey and experience what could be a revelation of the power you hold within yourself.

Manifestation... making dreams reality

Some years back I stumbled upon this concept we call manifestation. A very wise family member had some knowledge and understanding of the quantum physics behind the theory and inspired me to learn some more. If you are familiar at all with the topic you will know that there was a film released some years ago called the secret. This documentary was based around the concept that we as human beings are capable of having anything our hearts desire if we can teach and train our brains too not only dream big but to actually believe that our dreams are capable of coming true. In essence whatever we perceive we can conceive if we are able to visualise and conceptualise it as reality.
Sounds a bit far fetched I know, but there is some science to back it up. Now I don't claim to understand much of this scientific material they call physics however put simply where thoughts go energy flows, as in whatever you give energy to (thoughts, emotions, feelings, beliefs because that's all we are is a big ball of energy), you will get more of. So if you are able to train yourself to visualise the career you want, the house you want, the relationship you want, the bank balance you want and you can actually work towards believing that it is a reality for you then you can actually manifest it into your life.
The film while very powerful and motivating was criticised in many circles for being too focused on the acquisition of "stuff" eg wealth, material possessions and self indulgent desires. Many people, myself included believe that manifestation should also be a tool to be used with good intentions for the sake of mankind and the planet.
I use the skills of manifesting in this way often, if I hear of someone who has been having a difficult time eg sick children, unemployment and financial problems I will spend some time in meditation and send positive thoughts their way. If I focus on things in this way for long enough and with enough belief that my prayers (if you like) are working then often there will be a breakthrough in some way, shape or form.
If you have ever tried this or spent time consciously being aware of the effect your thoughts have on the world around you, then you will have probably noticed how bringing yourself into conscious awareness, that more often than not the universe will flow in a positive direction for you or bring things to you in an unexpected way.
An example I have around this is many years ago after we first moved to the coast from the farm and I started to learn about manifestation, I wanted to test the theory so I decided that I would put a sign on the door of our fridge that simply read $100,000. At the time my husband had a maintenance man job and was earning around $70,000 per year. I was unemployed having moved without any job prospects, so needless to say money was tight with 3 kids and rent to pay. For many months I would look at the fridge sign everyday and I would work on actually envisioning the money in the bank and how that would feel (creating the actual physiologic response to what it would feel like having already obtained your dreams is a big part of making it all work) I would practice getting the butterflies in my tummy and the excited feeling of having just won lotto. Of course at this point your logical brain is trying to persuade you to be rational, you get the usual voices saying " but how are you going to get $100,000 if you don't even buy  lotto tickets" you have to build you mental muscle around shutting down this doubtful belief and just find a way to believe it to your core. It takes some practice so you have to be patient with yourself.
Needless to say a year later, my husband decided it was time to ask his employer for a pay rise. He hesitantly approached the boss one day, armed with all the reasons why he felt that his pay should be increased by $5000-10,000 (he felt that this might be a bit bold) but I encouraged him to go for it, he didn't have anything to lose, I knew he was a commodity and that he was doing a great job so he wasn't about to get shafted over asking for a pay rise.
He came home that evening to tell me that not only was he getting a pay rise but that his boss had given him a promotion which attracted a new salary of $100,000. Those numbers were our new reality!
That's just one of the examples I have but there are heaps. It just seems that when you are in need the universe just shows up in the most miraculous ways, if you believe its possible.
The photo I have posted on my blog is of my vision board. A vision board is a tool you can use to start manifesting in a visual way. Because I am a visual person I found this activity very fulfilling and lots of fun to do. Basically you decide what you want in your life and you go and find words and pictures that authentically and organically depict this. Its a very personal thing to do and I find it quite a therapeutic activity. There is no right or wrong way to do it, I found just getting engrossed in the process the end result just evolves without you even having to plan the outcome too much, in other words don't over think it and just let you inner voice guide you.
A key learning I have picked up in my life coaching course is " if you can language it you can have it" so building a vision board is like giving words or life to your inner most desires. The first vision board I ever made (the one in the photo) is attached to the wall in my toilet (not a very glamorous thought I know) but its a place I go several times a day and sit only for a short time but in that time, I look at all the pictures and the associated words and I feel the emotions attached to the images. Interestingly enough as you can see in the pictures, my inner most desires reflect a longing for a more simply life. nature and food, animals and growth, comfort and the warmth of a very natural existence. Its funny actually because it seems as though my life is starting to reflect the pictures you see and take shape in that very way. I am very excited to see where the universe will lead me from this point, I am open and willing and very much believe that nothing is impossible.

I want to be a 1950s housewife

If you believe in people having lived past lives, then I'm sure in my past lives I was either an Italian mumma or a 1950s house wife or maybe both.
I would have been quite comfortable playing in pasta dough or baking scones and playing homemaker and I would have been really good at it. Ok so your initial reaction might be how very antifeministic my view of the world is especially considering how far we have come in regards to women's rights and equality. The truth is I feel very comfortable embracing my role as a house wife and mother. I love the routine of fixing my husbands lunch every morning before work (I have been doing this since he was 17 years old and a 1st year mechanic) I love the sense of completion and satisfaction when my house is in order, I love to bake (and eat) real food, nothing from a packet or container, I am very passionate about making everything from scratch and my date scones and coconut and banana bread are pretty dam good if I do say so myself and there is something very fulfilling for me to put on my apron and get to work.
There is something about being in the kitchen that excites me, I am a passionate cook, cleaner and house wife and I don't apologise for being right at home in this role. (pardon the pun)
This year I am working on developing my skills in the garden so I can grow my own vegetables and food to continue to strive towards being self sufficient and environmentally friendly.
I developed a lot of my homemaking skills in my 20s when I lived on an isolated cattle farm for 7 years. We had to be self sufficient, there were no shops for 40km so if we ran out of milk or bread we would have to make do or use our initiative and find ways to improvise. Ok so I never milked a cow however this is something I have always wanted to do. We did collect our own eggs right from underneath the hens backside, kill and prepare our own meat from the cattle and sheep on the farm and bake (lord did I learn how to bake) and even a little sowing (although I was not a very talented sower) so these skills have been transferred from one life to another and even today despite the fact I now live in modern suburbia, I find myself longing for a modern but traditional lifestyle. Its funny though that it seems I'm not alone, so many of the women I surround myself with have a familiar story and longing to embrace child rearing and home making as much as I do. Its almost as though we are going through a complete cycle or revolution and coming back to a much more simple approach to life.
Don't get me wrong there are elements of my modern-day womanhood that I would never want to forfeit, rights that I have that if I didn't have would make life pretty miserable, like access to birth control, being able to vote and having the choice to work outside the home. I do have a brain that I like to use and no I don't believe that we should be second class citizens to men or that men have the right to control or dominate us. I enjoy a good argument with my husband when I am feeling hormonal or just dam emotional and I need someone to take it out on. He knows we are on an equal playing field, its just that I chose to be the good wife when it suits and make his life more comfortable, after all he is the one going out to work to provide the money to make it possible for me not to.
The only element I would love to master to make this whole stereotypical image of the 1950s housewife come to life would be the fashion and attire. When I think of housewives in the 1950s I think of immaculately made over women with the full floral skirts (with matching apron) their hair having been set and perfectly styled, flawlessly made up in preparation for their husbands to return home from work ( did I just say that out loud!) I can almost feel the cringing of the millions of women's activists and feminists across the world. I know how hard you worked for us, call me ignorant, I'm sorry but I cant help the way I feel, take me back to the good old days.
I think sometimes when you pair it all back there is something liberating and empowering to embrace your femininity and for me that is embracing the traditional role of the woman, for this I make no apologies and I hope to continue to perfect my homemaker skills this year. Watch this space.